Earlier tonight, I was watching a talk delivered by British MP Rory Stewart about why it’s time to get out of Afghanistan.  That’s not the subject of this post.  It was a phrase in his closing remarks which caught my attention.  Mr. Stewart said, “If we accept that we cannot do all that we pretend, we can do much more than we fear.”

Wow!  That’s such a powerful idea.  If we stop putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves, we have a better chance of achieving the realistic ones.  As long as we remain focused on the big, unattainable goals, it keeps us distracted from the ones we can actually achieve.  What, you may wonder, does this have to do with empowerment?  I’m glad you asked.

We tend to think of empowerment as a removal of limits.  Yet without those limits, we start to believe we can do all we pretend.   That’s the kind of thinking that sets us up for disappointment.  Acknowledging our limits is essential to understanding ourselves.  For someone with a reading disability, pretending they can read isn’t empowering, it just prevents them from getting help.

When we accept our limits, it’s not a surrender, it’s the source of real empowerment.  The reason I refer to this as “real” empowerment is simple. Understanding our limits empowers happiness.  Denying them may seem empowering, but it just sets the stage for future pain.  The problem lies in the perception of limits as negative.  From a cultural perspective, It stems from a misunderstanding of the concept of equality.  Rather than an equality of value, it assumes an equality of ability, or at least potential.

Not everyone has equality of ability or opportunity.  Empowerment encourages happiness by allowing us to set believable goals for ourselves.  Denying limits leads to setting unattainable goals.  Attainable goals lead to happiness.  Unattainable ones lead to disappointment and unhappiness.  By accepting the possibility of failure, we appreciate our success even more.  At the same time, we save ourselves from being crushed by failure.

It’s time for us to empower our limits to celebrate how they empower us.

Cheers, Wintson