Dear Crazy NRA Spokesperson. Rather than placing armed guards in every school in the country, I’ve come up with an even better plan. At first glance, it might seem “a little out there”, but once you think it over in sure you’ll like it.

Why don’t we just arm the students. Paying police, or hiring and training armed security for all those schools would be cost prohibitive. Let’s cut out the middleman and put the guns where they belong.

There’s no reason these kids shouldn’t be learning how to defend themselves. Judging by some of the youth-oriented shooting competitions, it’s never too early to start training them.

I realize that some bleeding-heart liberal types are going to whine and complain… let ’em. It’s their ultra-violent video games and movies that have laid the foundation for this.

Violent media have already turned them into killers in waiting, why let all that potential go to waste? I mean really small caliber handguns are tailor made for young hands. Let the junior killers sort out the senior ones.

We save a ton of money on security. We get more guns into schools, and we make a boatload of cash for gun manufacturers and retailers. Seems like a sweet deal to me.

So Wayne… Let me know what you think. I figure this plan may just be psychotically delusional enough to appeal to you. It may be a tad whimsical and cheery for you, but we can work out the details.

Viva La Gun!

Cheers, Winston