I suffer from self esteem issues and wildly irrational bursts of anger when something I’m working on frustrates me. I am aware of these things and others, and I’m working on them. They gave me the idea for today’s offering.

My Demons

The demons in my head get loose,

Such havoc then they wreak.

In moments when I struggle most,

They strike when I am weak.

They know each vulnerability,

Where they can cause most pain.

Time after time they come for me,

Drag me back down again.

Back where I wallow in the muck,

Trapped in my inner dark.

While voices chorus every fault,

Each word leaves its own mark.

I swear some day I’ll free myself,

From all that’s in my head.

Yet deep inside the demons vow,

They’ll stay until I’m dead.

And even then there’s no respite,

In death they still will hound.

They’ll jape and mock upon my grave,

While I am in the ground.

I know that what they say’s not true,

At least not all of it.

For all folks know that demons lie,

But some tell truth a bit.

How do I tell what is the truth,

And what but foetid lie?

As all my darkest thoughts parade,

Before my inner eye.

I must be strong and learn to pay,

My demons no more mind.

As I move forward with my life,

I must leave them behind.

This is not easy as it sounds,

For they all live in me.

The key is not to let them loose,

Or hell to pay there’ll be.

And even as I write these words,

They say I waste my time.

There is no deeper message here,

Just cheap and easy rhyme.

Yet still I write, still try to trap,

My demons on the page.

If I succeed, perhaps I’ll save,

Myself from demon’s rage.

So now I draw a slow, deep breath,

Release it just as slow.

Repeat, repeat, repeat until,

Some inner peace I know.

And other times, my music is,

The way to drown them out.

For certain magic melodies,

Can grant me peace no doubt.

So here I am, and just for now,

My demons are at rest.

But soon enough I’ll go to bed,

Their new nightmares to test.

Cheers, Winston