Brain Bits To Go

Flash Fiction February Day 12

The Customer Is Always (going to think they’re) Right

Gerald looked out, saw the customer reading the sign in the window of his shop and sighed. Carol, the other person on shift heard him and glanced up seeing the man open the door and enter. “Oh.”, she said softly and went to arrange some shelves that were already neat and orderly.

“Good day.”, said Gerald in a pleasant manner. “How may I help you today sir?”

“I’m here for your clearance sale on Morenco cookware.” The man’s tone was sharp.

“As the sign outside says, we are currently sold out of that product.”

“Then I want a rain check.” His tone was more aggressive. 

Gerald carefully kept his polite expression in place. “I’m sorry sir. Being a clearance item, we will not be re-ordering it.”

The man’s scowl deepened. “You’d bloody well better either have some in stock or give me my rain check.”

“As the sign says sir, we are out of stock on that item.”

“You advertised the sale, so you have to honour it.”, the man barked angrily. “I know my rights.”

“We can’t sell you something we don’t have in stock sir.” 

Gerald could feel the muscles in his shoulders knotting even though his expression remained carefully neutral.

“Then you have to sell me a similar item at the same price. I know my rights as a consumer!”

“Actually sir, the advertisement said, ‘While supplies last.’.”, the shopkeeper was surprised by how calm his own voice sounded. 

“You’re not going to weasel out of this!” The customer’s voice was getting louder each time hie spoke and his face was reddening.

“You didn’t even go check in the back to see if you have any there!” Now there was a crafty and accusatory tone in his voice. “You’re trying to ‘bait and switch’ me, that’s what you’re doing!”

This last sounded triumphant, like he had cleverly deduced their fiendish secret plan.

“I didn’t check in the back because I know how many we had in stock, and I know how many we’ve sold. There are none in the back because they are sold out.” Gerald couldn’t help himself from adding, “Like the sign in the window says.”

“Don’t get smart with me!”, the man growled. “I didn’t come here to get insulted!”

Gerald was beginning to lose patience.

“My understanding is that you came to the store for the sale. I know you saw the sign when you arrived, I watched you read it. Yet you came in anyway.” Gerald paused to reconsider his next words and change them. “So, I’m wondering why you came in anyway.”

“I’ve had enough of your shitty attitude!” The customer was almost shouting now. “I’m going to pick out some cookware and you’re going to sell it to me for the sale price!”

He started to turn away. 

“No.”, said Gerald, gritting his teeth and fighting to keep his own voice level. “I’m not going to do that.”

“You will. I’ve got a friend at the Better Business Bureau!”, he had a gloating, oily tone now. “You’ll give me what I want, or you can explain to them this little bait and switch scam you’re running!”

Carol, who had been ‘working’ nearby the whole time caught Gerald’s eye.

He forced a polite smile back onto his face. “You misunderstand sir. A ‘bait and switch’ scam involves luring you into the store with a non-existent sale then trying to sell you something else at a higher price.”

“Don’t you try and bullshit me!” this, an angry roar as the customer rounded on Gerald.

Riding his own mounting anger, Gerald continued over him in a voice now flat and affectless. “We advertised a clearance sale on a discontinued product while supplies lasted. When we sold the last of the advertised items, we placed a sign in the window saying they are now out of stock. When you came in, we didn’t attempt to sell you any substitute product at a higher price.” 

The customer swore viciously. “Don’t bother doing that fake-legalese crap with me! I know my rights!”

“You should probably leave now sir.” Gerald was running dangerously low on patience and the man’s last outburst had neared him limit.

“You can’t kick me out!” The enraged customer erupted in another string of profanity. “I know my rights! This is a public business, and I have a right to be here and I have a right to get the product I came for at the advertised price!”

Carol started towards the counter, but she was too late.

“You don’t know shit!” Gerald’s voice was far louder than the customer’s had been.

“This isn’t a ‘public’ business, it’s private. This is my business!”, Gerald’s was leaning forward over the counter, his hands gripping front edge. “I have every legal right to kick you out and if you refuse, I have the legal right to call the police and have you removed and possibly charged with trespass.”

The shocked man had backed all the way into the display behind him. It rattled alarmingly.

“If you break it, you bought it!”, bellowed Gerald. “Now get out of MY store!”

Spluttering threats and profanities the man started towards the exit. Turning, he flipped a middle finger at Gerald who lunged around the end of the counter.

Seeing this, the man scurried out the door.

Carol came up beside Gerald. “You okay boss?”

“I’ll be fine.” His hands were shaking with adrenaline. “He just irritated me. You know?”

She chuckled and placed a hand on his arm. “You don’t say. He wasn’t even yelling at me, and I wanted to punch him out too. That’s why it’s better for you to deal with those people. If I did that with a customer, you’d have to fire me.”

Gerald patted the hand on his arm. “If I worked for me, I’d fire me in a heartbeat.”

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The dream of anyone who has ever had to deal with one of “those” people in customer service!

Cheers,