Category: Humor

NaPoWriMo Day 2

On By WinstonIn Humor, Loving Life, NaPoWriMo, Personal, Poetry, Self Awareness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’d just like to say Happy Birthday to my friend Jen. Oh, and thank you for providing today’s idea 🙂

On Aging

Your age is just a number folks,

Or so they like to say.

But now and then there is a sign,

Those years are here to stay.

 

They say we shrink as we get old,

To me that would be sweet.

‘Cause every time I put on socks,

It’s farther to my feet.

 

It’s glasses now and far less hair,

At least upon my head.

And all the different sounds I make,

To get up off the bed.

 

Can’t walk as fast, can’t walk as far,

Won’t even try to run.

My skin so thin and worn out,

I must avoid the sun.

 

The list goes on and on and on,

But now I need a rest.

Of all the things, time’s brought to me,

I love my naps the best.

 

Cheers, Winston

NaPoWriMo Day 8

On By WinstonIn Humor, NaPoWriMo, Personal, Poetry, Uncategorized, writer`s blockLeave a comment

For those of you who don’t know, the idea of the National Poetry Month Writing Challenge, is to write 30 poems in 30 days. That’s why all of these posts are headed with NaPoWriMo. Every time I do this, I hit days where I have absolutely no idea what to write. As you may have guessed, today is such a day. So here is today’s poem.

Le me know your thoughts.
BLANK PAGE, BLANK MIND

I sit and wonder what to write,

And think “Oh dearie me.”

Today is just the ninth and so,

Much more to do you see.

To want for inspiration now,

Is not a hopeful sign.

If I’m to have the slightest chance,

To hit this goal of mine.

Write thirty verse in thirty days,

That is no simple task.

But I will see it through somehow,

Some spark is all I ask.

In years before I’ve done this thing,

Spilt words upon the page.

Perhaps I’ve used up all my thoughts,

Perhaps it’s just my age.

But nothing comes now when I call,

There’s nothing in the well.

Creative block is less than fun,

It is a writer’s hell.

So bear with me, I’ll struggle on,

Spread words across the earth.

While clearly it’s not epic verse,

Enjoy. For what it’s worth.

Cheers, Winston

NaPoWriMo Day 29

On By WinstonIn Fantasy, Humor, NaPoWriMo, Poetry, Psychology, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I think I mentioned last time that things get a little strange once the creativity starts flowing. Well, hopefully I can finish on a slightly more normal note.

 

A Note To My Therapist

A dream perhaps and yet more real,

than I have known before.

How can I know the truth of it,

what’s dream and what is more.

 

In dreams I often tell myself,

“You’re dreaming never fear.”

But what if I am wrong and this,

is false, the dream is here.

 

What if rules and common sense,

are only in my head.

And all the chaos I call dreams,

is really real instead.

 

There’s no answer that I can find,

no way to truly know.

So I’ll just choose the one I like,

and that’s where I will go.

 

So if you come and I have gone,

it’s true I’ve only woke.

It’s you who’s trapped within a dream,

the punchline to my joke.

 

Cheers, Winston

NAPOWRIMO Day 27

On By WinstonIn Humor, NaPoWriMo, Poetry, Pop Culture, SocietyLeave a comment

The End Is Pricey

Beware! Beware! The end is near!
It’s nearly here I swear.
A doom, a doom is coming soon,
It’s doomy everywhere,

With doom and gloom and worse in store,
Trust me the end is nigh.
With all that is about to end,
What cause have I to lie?

I did not ask to see these things
I did not ask for fame.
Just buy my books and videos,
To learn more of my claim.

Economies are going to crash,
The terrorists arrive.
With plagues and famines, wars and such,
Most people won’t survive.

But in my books I’ll show you how,
To make it through the end.
I’ll help you prep to face it all,
So buy my vids my friend.

I’ve got the kit, the bugout bags,
For you and all your kin.
So buy your gear and guns and such,
You’ve got to spend to win.

Don’t worry if the end’s not yet,
It’s coming any day.
So hurry now and start your prep,
As long as you can pay.

Cheers, Winston

NAPOWRIMO Day 8

On By WinstonIn Humor, NaPoWriMo, Poetry, RantsLeave a comment

White Weather Blues.

Now spring is here and so I sit,
And watch the falling snow.
The robins sit upon my lawn,
Shout every curse they know.

l know the snow won’t stay this time,
But still I’ve had enough.
With every extra flake that falls,
The more I hate that stuff.

Tomorrow when I walk to work,
l know it’s going to rain.
Yet even as I splash along,
You won’t hear me complain.

The reason rain sucks less than snow,
No need to shovel it,
I’ve had my fill of winter now,
It’s time to stop this shit!

Cheers, Winston.

Personal Creativity Project: Poetry

On By WinstonIn Environment, Humor, Personal Creativity Project,, PoetryLeave a comment

For those who thought I might be done with poetry…. that will probably never be the case.  Tonights verse is courtesy of the wilderness  is my backyard.  It got to the point my dog didn’t have room to go out to go pee.  So Lynn and I got busy and reclaimed part of it for him.  just not sure when we’ll get to the rest of it.

Nature’s Kingdom

My yard is overgrown and the weeds are quite extreme,
And if I don’t do something soon I’ll hear the neighbors scream.

I have a honeysuckle vine that once fit in a pot ,
But now it’s twenty feet or more to give or take a jot.

The locals think the look of it is really quite a fright,
But birds and all the critters seem quite thrilled to see this sight.

So do I cut it to the ground avoid my neighbors wrath,
Or leave it to the birds and bees let nature take her path?

Cheers, Winston

Personal Poetry Challenge Day Fifty-Two

On By WinstonIn Humor, Personal Poetry Writing Challenge, Poetry, RantsLeave a comment

Once again, my lovely and clever muse Lynn gave me the idea for tonights post.  Without her to keep me inspired, I never would have made it this for into my personal poetry challenge. 

Thank you my love.  Here is the poem you requested.

Enjoy!

Mosquito Season

You whiny little bitch with wings,
Don’t stick your beak in me.
I’ll squash you if I get the chance,
So you’d do well to flee.

You take my blood and bring disease,
You’re nothing but a pest.
I slap myself and slap my friends,
I’m growing quite obsessed.

You come to ruin summer fun,
Drive me inside at night.
I’ve got Muskol and Deep Woods Off,
Won’t go without a fight.

You bite my toes and bite my ears,
I kill you by the score.
But you don’t care you bite and bite,
There are so many more.

You only drink to feed your young,
No more than they deserved.
I’m feeling like a fast-food chain,
With seven billion served.

Again this year our war resumes,
Again my blood is spilled.
And every chance I get I slap,
And one of you is killed.

So fly on by mosquito please,
Go buzz anothers ear.
Go bother them no need to be,
Such a pain in my rear.

Cheers, Winston

NaPoWriMo Day Seventeen

On By WinstonIn Humor, NaPoWriMo, PoetryLeave a comment

I started a totally different poem earlier. Unfortunately, as I was writing it I realized I had no idea where the heck it was going. So I did some creative triage and moved on. Here is poem seventeen v2.0.

Enjoy!

Inspirationally Challenged

My fevered brain has lost it’s words,
I’ve naught to say tonight.
And even though I’ve lost my mind,
I still am going to write.

It seems as if it’s going to be,
Much harder to complete.
These thirty verse in thirty days,
A tough target to meet.

But I keep writing though my mind
Is empty as can be.
I must go on because that is,
My commitment to me.

You see these poems aren’t for you,
They exercise my brain.
And that is why I carry on,
Despite the mental strain.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be,
More able than today.
And figure out just what it is,
That I might want to say.

Cheers, Winston

NaPoWriMo Day Thirteen

On By WinstonIn Humor, NaPoWriMo, PersonalLeave a comment

Working in retail means I get exposed to whatever virus is currently making the rounds. Turns out there is a vicious head cold out there. Trust me on this.

The Plague Day One

I have a plague within my nose,
A nasty common cold.
It runs and stuffs and blocks and hurts,
This joke is getting old,

I hate it when I feel like this,
My brain is in a fog.
I cannot think or focus much,
I am sick as a dog.

The truth is that my dog does not,
Have any plague at all.
I have enough for both of us,
As sicker still I fall.

To write this verse takes all my strength,
It’s all my brain can do.
I hope you do not get this plague,
I’d not wish it on you.

So now I go to rest my head,
Perhaps a nap to take.
I hope my drugs will do their job,
Fix this crap ere I wake.

Cheers, Winston