Category: Media

Mr. Fischer, Mr. Huckabee, This Means You

On By WinstonIn Education, Media, Politics, Religion, Society, Uncategorized, Values1 Comment

Bryan Fischer, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and those like them have no clue how Christianity works. I’ll tell you why I say that. These are the people trying to link the Sandy Hook shootings to a lack of prayer in schools. That’s just plain stupid.

Anyone who actually takes the time to look at the Bible knows the only place Jesus needs an invitation to is a persons heart. It doesn’t say you have to pray in school, or at work, or on TV. In fact, it says quite the opposite. Jesus himself is quoted instructing his followers not to make a big public display of their faith, rather to keep their prayers private and just between them and God.

As for Mr Fischer claiming that we’ve “kicked God out of our schools”. That’s not really possible. You see God doesn’t live in our schools, or offices or even our churches. God lives in our hearts. Where ever there is someone who believes in God, God is there. You can drop a person in the deepest, darkest hole there is and carve “NO GOD ALLOWED” in ten foot high letters on every surface. If that person believes, God will be in there with them.

So Mr. Fischer, Mr. Huckabee and all those like them need to understand this. The children and staff at Sandy Hook Elementary didn’t die because they didn’t pray in class that morning. They died because a disturbed person had too easy access to guns. Not everyone believes what you do (which is a good thing in your case) so they may not want their children subjected to your beliefs every morning. They have that right.

Please stop trying to use this horrible crime to score cheap points with your fan base. Those who died were actual people, not pawns in your twisted game of religious extremism. Contrary to your nasty little delusions, you can’t kick God out of anyone else’s life. You can only kick him out of your own by being vile, self-serving, scumbags.

Mr. Fischer, Mr. Huckabee thus means you.

Cheers, Winston

Shut Up And Fix It

On By WinstonIn Media, Movies, Personal Responsibility, Politics, Pop Culture, Society, Uncategorized, Values, Video GamesLeave a comment

It took a week, but the NRA (National Rifle Association) has finally decided how to respond to the Newtown, Connecticut shooting. According to them, it had nothing to do with the shooters ease of access to high capacity semi-automatic weapons. Of course not. It was his exposure to violent video games and movies.

We know this is true because it’s the argument that gets trotted out every time people don’t want to look at a real problem. It is always pop-cultures fault. When I was younger, it was role playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons which were “to blame”. Clint Eastwood movies were a horrible influence and sure to have us shooting each other with wild abandon.

Unfortunately for the NRA and those like them, (but fortunately for the rest of us) that’s not how it works. It’s not a simple case of “Money See, Monkey Do”. Anyone without a severe mental health issue is more than capable of separating what they see on the screen from the world around them. If they can’t, it’s a failure of their parents and society as a whole, not just the media.

I’m going to keep this one short today, so I’ll cut to the chase. If that young man’s mother hadn’t taken him to the range and kept multiple, easily accessible firearms in her home, she and the other victims killed by her son would still be alive. The NRA and their supporters can scream their lungs out saying it isn’t so, but I have one irrefutable piece of evidence to the contrary…. Canada.

We play violent video games. We watch countless hours of violent movies and television. Year somehow, we have a relatively small number of mass shootings. Are we somehow magically immune to the corrupting influence of the vile media filth in which we are immersed? No, there’s a much simpler answer. When we get angry, we can’t simply open the sock drawer, pull out a couple of high capacity pistols and start blasting.

So to the NRA and everyone else who has jumped on the entertainment industry bashing band wagon, there’s your cold hard proof. It’s not violent media, it’s  guns that are problem. Now shut up and fix it.

Cheers, Winston

Science On The Internet

On By WinstonIn Humor, Media, Pop Culture, Science, UncategorizedLeave a comment

If you’ve ever gone online, you’ve most likely encountered what I like to think of as Internet Science. I’m not talking about real science that actually makes the internet possible. I’m talking about the weird and special things you can find masquerading as science online.

Among the most conspicuous, are the ads featuring “One weird old secret for a flat tummy” or “Plastic surgeons hate her… 58 year old woman looks 28… here’s her secret”… and of course the millions of ads promising to make any guys penis the envy of large horses everywhere.

This was all triggered by a friend of mine who may have had pink eye. They were trying to figure out how they contracted it and said… “You can only get it by kissing someone who has it or by someone farting on your pillow.” When I finally stopped laughing and caught my breath, I told them that’s not how you catch pink-eye. “But I saw it on this site online!” After more laughing I directed them to an actual reputable wibsite which listed how you really get pink eye. (Bacterial infection, not pillow farts)

Then I experienced Internet Science for myself. Now my eyes are open, my life is changed and I will share this simple secret with everyone. Or at least the people who read this blog.

I have diabetes, so I have to regularly monitor my blood sugar. The lower the better. Last month my sugar level was around 21 (healthy is 4-7) so I’ve been working to get it under control. Yesterday, I worked a 14hr day with only breakfast. Going that long without eating usually drives my sugars crazy, but before my really late supper, they were only at 12.4. Yay for progress. To celebrate this success, I ate three mince tarts for supper knowing full well my sugars would be high this moring.

When I checked them before breakfast I got a 12.2. This is where the cool internet science kicks in. Because I had mince tarts before bed and my sugar was 0.2 lower this morning, it’s obvious that mince tarts lower blood sugar! Forget actual medicine prescribed by doctors. That’s all just a scam by the big drug companies to get money from you. Mince tarts cost only a fraction of what you’re paying every month for pills and needles.

As I just demonstrated, this is a PROVEN technique to fight high blood sugars. You can thank me later. (If you’re still around) Not only will this save you money, but you also get to eat yummy, yummy mince tarts. (You can thank me for that too.)

Now you understand how this works, you too can share the wonder of Science on the Internet.

Cheers, Winston

Disclaimer: This is not real science. If you have diabetes PLEASE continue taking any prescribed medication and do not eat yummy, yummy mince tarts to lower your sugars. This article is intended as satire only. Contrary to the wisdom of the internet, this is NOT science.

W

“The HOBBIT” Rules!

On By WinstonIn Film Reviews, Loving Life, Media, Movies, Pop Culture, UncategorizedLeave a comment

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My friend Jason came through for me again. I told him I planned to go see “The HOBBIT” on my birthday next week and he called a friend and hooked me up with passes to the press screening last night. (Thanks again J, you ROCK!)

I don’t do spoilers, so I won’t give away any plot points. I will say that I had some concerns going in. Chief among them the question of how to expand a single (slim) book into three movies. Asuming that the next two are the equal of this one, the answer is: brilliantly…. for the most part. There were a couple of bits I wasn’t totally on side with, but not enough to spoil the overall experience.

The much hyped 3D / 48 frames per second technology rendered the trademark visuals just that much more luscious. New Zealand is still the most beautiful star in the film. The Weta teams, both virtual and physical are once again clearly at the top of their game. Overall production quality is still astonishingly high and one expects nothing less.

I won’t say any more on it until it has been in wide release for a while. Suffice to say, I plan to see it again while it is in theaters. Then begins the long wait for part two.

Long story short… The “HOBBIT” Rules!

Cheers, Winston

Why Is It Even A. Question?

On By WinstonIn Media, Politics, Rants, Society, Uncategorized, ValuesLeave a comment

Disgraced former media mogul and ex-con Conrad Black is saying he shouldn’t be stripped of his Order of Canada.  Why not?

He is a convicted criminal who served over three years for fraud and obstruction of justice.  What part of that sounds like he should be allowed to keep one of Canada’s highest honors?  Oh, he also renounced his citizenship in order to accept a British Peerage. That’s how important Canadian honors are to him.

Yet now that his appointment to the Order of Canada is under review, he has decided this Canadian stuff is important to him.  So important in fact that the rules about such things shouldn’t apply to the mighty Lord Black.

He was told to submit in writing his arguments for not being stripped of his Order of Canada.  He is now engaged in a legal battle to give an oral presentation instead.  The judge said no, so now con Conrad is appealing.

Of course he is.  If there’s one thing we’ve learned about this man it’s his deep and abiding sense of his own importance.  The rules shouldn’t apply to Conrad Black because he is a great man and great men shouldn’t be bound by the same rules as the commoners.

Lord Black seems to have let his title go his head.  As with the aristocracy of old, he wishes to be elevated above the reach of the laws and obligations of the rest of society.  Unfortunately for him, that’s not how Canada works.

Lying, cheating and stealing your way to wealth and privilege doesn’t make you better than everyone else here.  In fact, in the eyes of many, it makes you a great deal less worthy of honors and accolades.  Like the honor of being a member of the Order of Canada.

In fact, since being a Lord was more important to him than being Canadian, maybe they could revoke the special pass that let’s his sorry ex-con ass stay here and kick him out.  Then he could move to Britain and see if anyone there cares if he’s Lord Black.  Nobody here does.

Should they strip Conrad Black of his Order of Canada?

Why is it even a question?

Cheers, Winston

Welcome To the Mittbot-Gerbil-Zombie Apocalypse!

On By WinstonIn Global Issues, Humor, Media, Politics, Society, U.S. Election 2012, Uncategorized1 Comment

Earlier today I was reading an article about Ann Romney’s speech at the Republican National Convention. This was the latest of the ongoing efforts to “humanize”, her husband, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. This raises a couple important questions for me.

The first question that springs to mind is, “Why should I believe anything she said?” Mrs Romney admitted that she was speaking from a prepared text. So she wasn’t giving any deeply personal insights into an incredibly sensitive and deeply misunderstood Mitt. She was just the most convincing voice-over they could find for their product endorsement. It’s not about authenticity or sincerity, it’s just another cynical marketing ploy. It’s like using Justin Bieber to sell acne treatments or having Brooke Shields front for La-Z-Boy. Teens who are losing their minds about acne (or Justin Bieber [or just losing their minds]), are more likely to identify with the Biebs, while Ms Shields and her Calvin Klein jeans are going to resonate better with an older demographic more interested in home decor than zit zapping.

The larger question here is, “Why does Mitt need to be ‘humanized’ in the first place?” If he’s not human, just what is he? Is he a gerbil or a wildebeest? Perhaps he’s a llama and his handlers go about in constant fear of catching a face full of llama loogie. Not to worry, I’ve got a theory. He’s a gerbil. He’s a gerbil piloting a (mostly) human-looking robot. Think anime but without the giant guns or swarms of scantily clad young girls. Then again he is running for the Republican party so there may be a giant gun in there somewhere but Ann isn’t commenting on that. (Come on, could you have resisted that one?)

Here’s the setup. Decades ago, a race of space faring gerbils arrived on the planet. Realizing we are hundreds of times their size they developed a plan to infiltrate us and destroy us from the inside. They want to take over the government (Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin were trial runs at getting someone on the inside.). Romney’s track record at Bain Capital is a preview of the Gerbil plan to destroy the morale of the United States by undermining its economy, creating mass unemployment (shipping jobs overseas), and working hard to widen the gap between the ultra-rich and the peasants they rule.

Because Hollywood assures us the U.S. is the only country able to withstand an alien invasion, once Mittbot has completely ruined and destabilized them, the invasion will begin in earnest. Swarms of Gerbil piloted Republican robots will pour out of their secret underground bases at the poles. To supplement these R-Bots, the Gerbils have developed a technology that allows them to burrow into dead people’s heads and pilot them like bots. Together the R-Bots (patent pending), and their zombie cohorts will complete their conquest of the free world.

While average Americans spend their lives in the grinding poverty of union-free, sweatshop labour camps, China and India will continue to reap the benefits of having been the first to welcome the Gerbil invaders.

It hasn’t happened yet but it could. If Mitt Romney wins, watch for the signs……. like the corridors of power being lined not with rich, soft carpets, but with wood shavings. Then you’ll see that I’m not crazy. Then you’ll see! Then it’ll be too late!

Welcome to the Mittbot-Gerbil-Zombie Apocalypse!

Muaaahahahaaa!

“Hugo” Is Brilliant, But Not For Kids

On By WinstonIn Film Reviews, Media, MoviesLeave a comment

Last night, I had the opportunity to see the new Martin Scorsese film “Hugo”.  I had no idea what the storyline was, only that a friend had scored passes for it and invited my family and I along.  I made a point of not looking it up so as to approach it with fresh eyes.  I’m very happy that I did.

Before I go any further, I have to say that I am not generally a Scorsese fan.  In fact, I generally dislike the mob/crime films for which he is perhaps best known.  Rather, I prefer his less mainstream works.  Until tonight, my favorite amongst his films was “The Aviator”.  It’s an incredible bio-pic covering the life and eventual downfall of Howard Hughes.  If you’ve never taken the time, I highly recommend it.

But enough about the past, on to the present.  Or in this case the further past.

Despite the look of the commercials, and despite the young leading characters, this is not a children’s movie.  There is nothing in it to terrorize children.  There are scenes of mild peril, but no graphic violence or nudity.  Indeed visually, it is about as family friendly as it gets.  It is in the last third of the movie that the young ones will lose interest.  About the time the film’s actual raison d’etre is revealed.

I won’t give it away, because I hate spoilers myself, but it didn’t go where I expected it to.  I have to say that I was greatly relieved by that.  I went in expecting another kids outwitting the adults to save the day movie.  What I ended up with was a well told story filled with interesting and fully developed characters.  The casting was absolutely brilliant.

What pleased me the most, was the casting of Chloe Grace Moretz in the role of Hugo’s friend Isabelle.  Given that the only films I had seen her in were “Kick-Ass” and “Let Me In”, I was concerned she would end up being type cast as an innocent looking killer.  Isabelle couldn’t be further from those previous outings and has provided her a vehicle to display a wider range than those emotionally stunted characters.

Asa Butterfield is outstanding in the title role, and it is a pleasure to watch his character’s evolution over the course of the film.  With Sir Christopher Lee, Sir Ben Kingsley, Ray Winstone and Jude Law in supporting roles, there was no shortage of talent when the two young stars were off-screen.

As I said at the start, I won’t tell you what it’s about.  I don’t want to spoil the surprise.  I will tell you this however.  I don’t expect it to have a large box office past opening weekend, but I do expect it to receive a lot of nominations and maybe take home some hardware during the upcoming award season.

“Hugo” is a brilliant film, and one that will definitely end up on my shelf.  I hope you take a chance on it and enjoy it as much as I did.

Cheers, Winston

Occupational Demands

On By WinstonIn Media, Personal Responsibility, Politics, Pop Culture, Society, ValuesLeave a comment

Usually, I try not to write about the same thing two days in a row. This isn’t my fault though. If the Occupy the Media people would just shut up, I could move on peacefully. Instead, they are talking about maybe issuing demands.

Really? Demands? Who do they think they are? What right do they have to make demands on anyone let alone everyone.

I know they claim to be the ninety-nine percent, but even they can’t be stupid enough to actually believe that. Or can they? Well, it seems they can. Wait, maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe stupid isn’t the right word. Maybe delusional would fit better…. Nope. Stupid it is.

It’s ridiculous, but it started me thinking. Why would this tiny little group of people think the rest of the world should listen to their demands? The answer of course is the world we live in. My theory goes something like this:

We live in a brand driven society. Elections aren’t about platforms, they’re about personality and name recognition. Advertisements substitute product information for celebrities, flashy visuals and are often unrelated to the product being advertised. Celebrities use their fame and name recognition to try and shape public policy as though singing or acting has given some insight denied to us mere mortals.

Combine this with reality media which imply that everyone is secretly a celebrity or a potential business success or otherwise just one video away from fame and it all makes sense. If being a media brand is all it takes, then of course they think their demands should be acted on. The media has taken to referring to them as Occupiers. As soon as they started capitalizing that word, it became a brand and gave them the same social credibility as other pop media brands. Brands such as Bono (0%), Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie (0.03%), or Michael Moore (-300%).

It’s that assumed credibility that creates the delusion of grandeur to which they have succumbed. The media refers to them as the 99% and it reinforces their idea that they really represent all these other people. The fact is they don’t. I’ll tell you why they don’t.

The real ninety-nine percent didn’t vote for them. In our society, we vote for people to represent us. I didn’t vote for them, and neither did anyone else. They need to stop saying they represent us, and the media needs to stop reinforcing that misinformation. Which is funny because the Occupado folks love talking about corporate or government misinformation, but are not so strident when the error is in their favor.

The good news in all of this is the probable timeline. The campers are so fragmented that after two months, they still haven’t decided if they have demands. If they do have demands, they haven’t been able to decide what they are. If they figure out what the demands are, they aren’t sure if they should go public with them. At the current rate and with their “organizational structure” their grandkids may actually produce a working draft for consideration by future generations.

In the meantime, thousands are expected to flood Wall Street to celebrate the two month anniversary of the movement. The plan is to obstruct and delay workers on their way at those evil banks and such. Just out of curiosity, how does their right to free assembly trump these people’s right to go to work and support their families? But that’s not the way Occupied mind works. The unOccupied mind is a much simpler creature. Occupiers are good and therefore whatever they do must be right. Banks and those who work for them are bad keeping them from doing what they do is good.

For my money, the police and civic authorities have a responsibility to ensure the workers can get to work unhindered. The only surprise would involve them siding with the public instead of the alleged protesters. I think it would be cool if the bankers showed up for work carrying signs saying, ” The Pandering Stops Here!”.

They should be allowed to protest too.

Cheers, Winston

Nickelodeon Says It’s Okay To Vandalize School Property

On By WinstonIn Education, Media, Personal Responsibility, Pop Culture, Society, ValuesLeave a comment

My daughter is a fan of the Nickelodeon show Victorious.  It’s not one I’ve taken the time to watch, but the bits I’ve seen over her shoulder tell me it’s another teen/highschool dramedy.  Seen one, seen them all.  Or so I thought.  Then I caught a couple of minutes on while it was recording on the PVR.

One of the characters skips a couple of classes.  Her friends determine that she is upset because the school isn’t going produce the play she wrote.  Apparently, they found it too “strange and disturbing”.  Her friends are concerned for her, and go look for her.  They find her in the janitors closet where she is cutting up a large wastebasket with pair of scissors.

One of her classmates is impressed that she cut up the janitors large waste bin with a pair of scissors.  That’s it.  No one comments on her destroying school property.  The episode goes on from there with no further mention of it.  How is that an appropriate message?

The school won’t produce her play, so she starts destroying school property.  Everyone’s okay with this.  The writers, actors, editors, show-runners, everyone.  People complain all the time about how violent or “immoral” programs are destroying today’s youth.  How about youth programming that doesn’t think before it broadcasts?

Sure, I realize that it’s just a waste bin.  I realize that she’s supposed to be high strung and emotional because she’s creative.   She’s just expressing her emotional distress.  Yeah right.  If one of the teachers says her play is poorly written, do we get a hilarious scene of her slashing their tires.  Too much of a stretch to assume that such an emotionally stunted and self-obsessed character might respond to criticism that way?  Ummm…. probably not.

Under the guise of “youth oriented” programming, they are normalizing this type of behavior.  Let me break this down for you.  A student writes a play and offers it to their school.  The school deems it unsuitable and declines to produce it.  Rather than accepting the decision and either re-writing it or seeking another venue, the student starts destroying school property.  How is that depicting any type of healthy behavior?

Nickelodeon’s message of the day, “If someone doesn’t let you do what you want, destroy their property.  It may not solve the problem, but it will show everyone how angst laden you are about things.”  Great conflict resolution skills you’re teaching there team.

I bet Victorious gets a couple of awards for that one.  I’m just glad my daughter is eighteen.  She’s always been pretty good about understanding that not everything in “G” rated programming is appropriate in the real world.  I’m more concerned about the viewers who may not make that distinction.

Cheers, Winston

Math For Protesters

On By WinstonIn Global Issues, Media, Personal Responsibility, Politics, Pop Culture, Society2 Comments

The more I see of the Occupy This And That crowd, the more they annoy me.  One of their most annoying habits is claiming to be the “99%”.  Even the most math challenged should be able to understand that this is decidedly not the case.

I’m going to be generous (and lazy) and give them a total of 500,000 protesters in Canada.  Judging from the reports in a variety of media sources, there aren’t that many, but like I say, I’m feeling generous.  A quick Google search for the population of Canada reveals that in 2009 there were 33,739,900 people here.  If you divide the protesters by the population, you find out that the Occupy Whatever movement actually accounts for less than 2% of the available bodies.

Of course, “We are the 99%.” sounds much more impressive than “We are less than 2%.”  But hey, what do I know?  I’m not part of a magazine that specializes in inflammatory, anti-capitalist images and soundbites like AdBusters.  For those of you who hadn’t heard, that’s who’s behind the “spontaneous” Occupy Wall Street movement.  The nice people at AdBusters claim they were inspired by the Tahrir protests in Egypt.  Because of course we have so much in common with people living under a military backed single party system.  Sure we do.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  The people in Tahrir square weren’t there because they were too lazy to get involved in the democratic process, they were protesting the total lack of a democratic process to be involved with.  The issue in Canada and the U.S. isn’t that people can’t change the system, it’s that they can’t be bothered.

The tragedy of Democracy is that you end up not with what you wish for, but rather what you deserve.  The system isn’t broken, it’s ignored.  It gets ignored for the same reason our personal debt is so high.  (If you said “Corporate Greed”, consider yourself slapped.)  It’s all because people want short cuts.  They want what they want, and they want it right now.  Thank you very much.

Instead of saving up to buy a house, car and big screen TV or pay their tuition, they borrow and then blame their debt on the “greedy banks” with easy credit and high interest.  Instead of years of political action and organizing and hard, slogging work, they expect the system to change because they spend a few weeks or months camping in a bunch of parks.  Yeah.  That’ll work for sure.

The biggest indicator of how the protests are failing is the media coverage they are receiving.  Think about who owns the major media outlets.  Those nasty, “greedy” corporations.  If the Occupy Yourselves Protesting movement offered even the slightest threat to them, do you think they’d give them any ink at all?  Sure, you’re reading this online,  but answer me this.  Who gets more voting eyeballs, YouTube, or CNN?  That’s my point.  Those big corporations don’t feel threatened because a couple of thousand people in a park are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

They are just another part of the Roman “bread and circuses”.  They occupy the attention of the people and repeat the message that the system is broken.  That means that people won’t engage with the system, and that ensures status quo, and that’s good new for all those evil corporate types.

So to wrap up, the math is pretty clear.  half a million (inflated to salve the organizers egos) divided by thirty four million is not ninety-nine percent.  Nobody voted for you, so you should stop saying you represent the ninety-nine percent.  Next time AdBusters decides to stir people up , it would be nice if they could do it during an election year and try to stir them towards the polling stations.

Oh yeah.  One more quick note.  When movie stars and directors show up in support of people protesting against the “economic divide”, it looks a little bit… what’s the word I want?   Oh yeah…. HYPOCRITICAL!

Cheers, Winston