Tag: personal

NaPoWriMo Day 14

On By WinstonIn Loving Life, my blessed life, my Dog, NaPoWriMo, Personal, Poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I have a wonderful dog named Ducky. He is my buddy and I wouldn’t change him for the world. He is sleeping beside me on the couch and his snoring gave me the opening line for this verse. Who he is gave me the rest.

Enjoy!

I’m A Lucky, Ducky Dad

There is a puppy sleeping here,

He snores beside me now.

And as he sleeps I wonder that,

I am so blessed somehow.

He is an awesome friend to me,

This puppy dog of mine.

When I’m upset he always checks,

To make sure I am fine.

When I am cross or speak to harsh,

He never judges me.

He looks so sad it melts my heart,

I cannot angry be.

With his soft head upon my foot,

He sleeps now on the floor.

When he hears someone on the walk,

He rushes to the door.

He jumps around and runs about,

Like he’s gone quite insane.

He’s just so happy to see them,

I once again explain.

If you should come to visit me,

You’d better sit down quick.

So he can jump up next to you,

And give your ear a lick.

So thanks my boy for all your love,

How’d I get so lucky?

To have you come into my life,

My pup, you’re my Ducky.

Cheers, Winston

NaPoWriMo Day 13

On By WinstonIn Enlightenment, NaPoWriMo, Personal, Poetry, Society, Uncategorized, Values2 Comments

Over the yers, I’ve become a huge fan of situational ethics. Mostly, questions of “right” or “wrong” boil down to one answer. It depends. That extremely grey area is the subject of today’s poem. (Before anyone tells me, yes I know that there are certain things which almost everyone now agrees are beyond the pale. Don’t feel obligated to provide examples.)

MORAL RELATIVISM

I wish I was a wiser man,

Than what I seem to be.

Then knowing what is right would come,

More easily to me.

But wisdom’s not what I possess,

So I just try to guess.

And hope the choices that I make,

Might turn out for the best.

What I’ve learned is that right and wrong,

Are never what you think.

The more you know the more they change,

Before you’ve time to blink.

To kill is wrong, this we all know,

Except for when it’s not.

For they will order us to kill,

When battles must be fought.

To steal is wrong, so we all know,

Unless it’s by the state.

Like taking land from other folks,

To make our country great.

So many more could illustrate,

The point I seek to make.

That right and wrong depend upon,

The point of view we take.

So think on this before you rush,

To judge another’s act.

Without context we cannot see,

Their truth and that’s a fact.

To understand the other one,

Give empathy a try.

Then right and wrong will matter less,

On reason more rely.

Cheers, Winston

To My Daughter

On By WinstonIn PersonalLeave a comment

I’m not going to write a lot right now because I have to get ready to go out with my family to celebrate my daughter’s eighteenth birthday. From there, I may be heading pretty much straight to work for the evening so might not have a chance to post later.

As you can see, I’m not incarcerated. It’s not because I made bail, more about having only the good customers in last night. I got hugs, handshakes, good wishes, and one guy who’s going to bring me his business card. It was a good crowd last night.

Yeah, I choked up a couple of times. That was just a preview of what it’s going to be like at my daughter’s brunch this morning.

Just yesterday, she was thirteen and thought I should be able to answer any question. About a week before, she was eleven and believed that I could make growing pains go away by rubbing her ankle at two in the morning.

A couple of months before, my wife and I had been together for a while. We had been out somewhere and when we were getting in the car to come back her four year old daughter asked me to ride in the back with her. Today, that little girl turns eighteen.

For the past fourteen years, I have been honored and proud to call her my daughter. I have been blessed to have her tell me, “I only call you Win because that’s what I’ve called you since I was little. I love my biological Dad, but you are the one who gets up in the middle of the night if I call you. You are the one who fights to get me to do my homework and hugs me every day and tells me you love me. I may call you Win, but it really means Dad.”

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

Love you more, Win

I’m Not Bitter About Losing My Job… Much

On By WinstonIn Personal, Rants, SocietyLeave a comment

I wasn’t really sure what I was going to write today. I hadn’t chosen a title or a “feel” for it. I knew there was more I wanted to say about my store closing, I just wasn’t sure what. I just started writing, and let it come. The original post starts below the line. It is what it is.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

So yesterday’s post was very personal for me. It was also personal for a bunch of other people. I got messages from people I hadn’t heard from in ages. A couple of former co-workers phoned me to make sure my family will be okay. It was kind of cathartic for me, and that’s a good thing.

Tonight will be my first shift at Blockbuster since I heard the news. It’s going to be tricky. There are going to be the people who will miss the business and that’s fair. Some are going to miss “us”, and that’s going to be hard. Then there are the ones who will come in to gloat or look for early sales like vultures circling the last weakened members of a soon to be extinct species. Those will be the tricky ones.

They could be the hardest, if I have to control my natural impulses. On the other hand, they could be the easiest. Really, it’ll depend how hard they push me. I firmly believe everyone is entitled to their opinion. What a lot of people don’t realize is that I have one too. Normally when I’m on the other side of that counter, I keep it to myself. Now… we’ll see how that goes tonight.

During the first round of store closures I had people who were really upset that my store wasn’t closing too. I had one person swearing at me because I wouldn’t sell my rental movies at the liquidation prices of the store down the street. If any of “those” people come in, they could go home with a whole other kind of customer service experience. Not to mention, a better understanding of how store closures are about more than just awesome prices. They’re about people, and some of those people may not be in the mood to play nice with a self-obsessed twit-bag who thinks their cheap movies are more important than whether or not I can pay my bills!

Like I say, it could be a little tricky tonight. I’ll post later to let you know how it goes… if I make bail ;^D

Cheers, Winston

Just A Quick Note

On By WinstonIn Personal4 Comments

I have just found out that the company I work for will be closing shortly. This is a lot for me to process, need a bit of time. Once I’ve come to terms, I’ll fill in the details. In the meantime, I just wanted to make sure I meet my postaday2011 commitment.

My thoughts and prayers are with my fellow employees and their families.

Cheers, Winston

My Important Things

On By WinstonIn Personal, Self AwarenessLeave a comment

What are the important things in life?  This is a question I occaissionally give some thought to.  The fact is, the answer is different for everyone.  I believe that there are some things which are more or less universal.

Hope is esssential, for without it, there can be only despair.  Hope fuels dreams and builds the future.  It makes hardship bearable and gives strength to the oppressed.

Belief is required, for hope is it’s hostage.  Hope is meaningless if you don’t believe it.   Belief is the engine fueled by hope.  A dream cannot become the future if the dreamer doesn’t  believe it.  You cannot make any change if you don’t  believe you can.  No good thing could ever have happened if it was not believed in.

Trust is the seed from which grows friendship and love.  Without trust, one is forever alone.  No matter how many people surround you, if there is no trust, there can be no companionship.  To be trusted is to recieve the greatest of compliments.  To give trust is to trust yourself.  Trusting yourself is the key to acheiving your dreams.  It doesn’t guarantee success, but not trusting yourself guarantees failure.

Love is both the source and the outcome of all these.  Without love, there can be no fulfillment  Every good thing comes from love of others.  Love is the very essence of hope, belief and trust.  It is the best of everything we are.

For me, there is one more essential.  Humour.  Whenever I have lost hope and and believed I could not trust to love, I have always gotten through with humour.  Some of it may be dark or in poor taste, but it is a way for me to cope when I have no other.    They say that feeling pain lets you know you’re alive.  Being able to laugh even when you’re in pain lets you know why you’re aliive.  Humour is a way of looking at things we cannot face.  Laughter is a medecine for the soul.

This list is far from complete.  These are my essentials, and invite everyone to share theirs.

Cheers, Winston

Darn Missed Posting Yesterday.

On By WinstonIn PersonalLeave a comment

I apologize to the Post A Day Challenge communtity.   I missed my committment to post yesterday.  Anyone who has read some of my previous posts is aware, I have been recovering from surgery out of town.  I’ve been using my iPhone to post to this blog.  Lately, I’ve been posting late at night.  Last night, while composing the last of my post, my batter died.  By the time it had enough charge to restart, it was past midnight and I had gone to bed.

Despite missing one day, I remain committed to the Challenge.  You never know what life is bringing next, so I may not be able to post every single day, but I will continue to post every Possible day.  It’s a way of not seeing a setback as a failure.  I’ll be back tomorrow.  Unless something unforseen crops up.  Then I’ll be back the day after.  But as of going to press, it’ll be tomorrow.

Until Then 🙂

Cheers, Winston

A Different Personal Note

On By WinstonIn Personal, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It’s about twenty after one in the morning and I’m writing this blog. For those of you wondering where I get the time to do this so much and at such random times, I’m currently recovering from surgery. Nothing life threatening thankfully, but it still means I’m off work and not too mobile. I have no television, video games or any of my other usual distractions so I decided to start a blog to pass the time. Post surgical discomfort limits my sleep to a few hours here and there so I’ve got time to surf news sites, read other peoples blogs, and think about what I encounter in my virtual roaming.

What I’ve been thinking about this morning is, “Why do I blog?”

The free time and boredom are certainly a contributing factor, but they aren’t the whole story. The fact of the matter is that I read the news and think about it even when I don’t have this much time. Normally I share my thoughts on what I encounter with co-workers or friends. Often-times that just isn’t possible (such as when I think of something at 1:20am) so the idea gets lost in the mental clutter which is my usual head space.

This blog is a way to hold on to those thoughts for future reference. It’s a sort of personal reference library by which to observe my evolution and with any luck growth. It is also an experimental lab in which I can play with ideas and express things in different ways than I might in other venues. None of this is to say that my ideas are particularly worthy of preservation. Certainly not to anyone other than me. Having said that, another part of the appeal is of course the reaction of and interraction with others. If I get a like, or even better a comment on something I’ve written, then I get an insight into someone else’s perception of me.

To some, the whole exercise of blogging amounts to nothing more than narcissistic, navel gazing. They are what I like to call, “Perfectly entitled to their opinon.” Being overweight, blogging is probably the only comfortable way for me to see my navel, never mind gaze at it. Rather than narcissistic, I prefer to think of it as an exercise in developing self awareness through interpretive pseudo-engagement. Means the same thing, but with less negative connotations. And I don’t have to try to see my belly button.

On an extremely tangential note, all this talk of navel gazing has reminded me of my love of Beluga whales. Now to tell you how that segue makes sense. In all other whales, the vertebrae in the neck are fused limiting the mobility of the head. Not so for my friends the Belugas. The last time I was at Marineland in Niagrara Falls, Ontario, I spent a lot of time watching these beautiful white whales swimming lazily about via a large window in the side of the tank. I noticed that because of the mobility of their head, a large number of them seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time coasting along on their backs,with their heads tipped forward. They looked for all the world like they were in fact gazing at their belly buttons, or possibly thinking it was maybe time to cut back on all the seafood. One way or the other, they looked thoughtful. Then I understood. What’s going through their minds is something like this. “I wonder what those things are over there. I can see them, but when I tried to go check them out, it felt like there’s an invisible rock there. I know I can’t get there to find out, so I guess I’ll just gaze at my navel and think about it for a while.” For me that’s what navel gazing is. It’s a way of trying to understand ourselves, our world and our place in that world when it’s impossible for us to experience things directly. See, there was a point to the Belugas. Then again, Belugas are so awesome they are their own point.

I called this blog “Brain Bits To Go” because that was the best way I could think of to describe this process for me. I take a bit of what’s in my head and package it for quick, convenient consumption. Like so much else we take in, some of it will be good, like mental health food, and some of it will be the intellect slaying equivalent of two pounds of refined sugar. Unlike when we were kids, we don’t have to eat everything in front of us. This is intended as a sort of Bufffet of Ideas. Take whatever you like, or don’t partake at all. In the end, all that matters is that whatever I serve up be fresh and well prepared.

All these food analogies have made me hungry so I’m going to make myself some sandwiches. While I eat, I’m going to surf the web looking for Beluga clips.

Cheers, Winston

On A Personal Note

On By WinstonIn Personal1 Comment

Just to switch things up a bit, I’m going to go from big picture, big issue posts to something personal for a moment.

My wife Lynn’s birthday is coming up this weekend. As I’ve been laid up for a while recovering from surgery, I haven’t been able to get her a gift. Instead, I’m going to talk about what she’s given me.

Those who hold themselves opposed to sentimentality should stop reading here. You’ve been warned.

Before I met Lynn I had been single for quite along time. In fact with a couple of brief and fairly disastrous exceptions, most of my adult life. I despaired of ever finding someone to share my life with. I was quite miserable about it to everyone who knew me and wrote lots of self-pitying, depressing poetry. Eventually I transitioned from despair to acceptance. Not least because despair is far too much effort to maintain indefinitely.

Then it happened. A friend of mine had moved to a different city. Neither of us could afford long distance calls, so we chatted online through IRC. This was before instant messaging, social networking or any of those handy things. (Yes, I’m that old.) The idea with IRC was, you set up a “room”, invite people in and hang out and chat about whatever. His girlfriend was often there along with a bunch of other people. Most importantly, his girlfriend’s best friend Lynn. Over the course of several months, we got to know each other and developed a deep, lasting friendship. When the opportunity arose, I took a trip to see my friend. While there, I was finally able to physically meet this wonderful person I had spent so many hours with. The connection was immediate. Shortly after that, we started dating, and have been together ever since.

There are a few things I’ve learned through this either from Lynn, or just by having her in my life.

Looking for anything carries with it the possibility of not finding that which you seek. Don’t try to look for love, because that implies you may not find it. Instead try to be ready to accept it when it is there.

Love never takes more than it gives.

Love may not be able to give all that is asked, but will move heaven and earth to give all that is needed.

Love can cause far greater wounds than hate. Unlike hate, love forgives any wound. No matter how great.

You cannot force someone to love you. Nor can you force them not to.

After an argument, it is easier to forgive another if you first forgive yourself.

One of the greatest gifts love brings is acceptance. Accepting each other’s imperfections is wonderful, but it is nothing compared to the feeling when you realize that this incredible person accepts YOU! With all of your faults, issues and quirks, you are worthy in their eyes.

Every day that you have with this person is a gift. No one knows what the future has in store. Treasure everything. The worst day with someone you love is better than the best day knowing you’re alone.

I know that some may find this maudlin or hokey. That’s okay, I didn’t write it for them. I’ve written this for Lynn so that even though I have no gift for her birthday, this is my thank you for all the gifts she has given me.

Happy Early Birthday my Angel. Thank you for sharing this life together. You are the best of us and you bring out what is good in me. Without you, I would be so much less than I am.

Merci mon Ange. Je t’aime plus que tu sais, pour l’eternite et plus encore.

Win