I recently read an article on the Ottawa Sun app that makes the impending zombie apocalypse look downright appealing.  It all has to do with a teenage girl’s letter to Santa.

At first glance, it seems sweet that thirteen year old Mekeeda Austin still writes letters to Santa.  That warm, fuzzy feeling comes to a screeching halt the moment you learn what it is she has actually written to him.
“This Christmas, I don’t ask for much, so if I don’t get at least two of the things I want I want, I will literally kill you!  Do you understand?  Oh, also, I’ll hunt down your reindeers, cook them and serve their meat to homeless people on Christmas Day.  None of us want that, so here’s what I want.”

She then lists a Blackberry, cash, a dress, high top Converse shoes and the real Justin Bieber.  “Remember, two of these things or you die.”  She then signs it, “Love from Keedy.”

Her mother, who found the letter, thinks it’s just humorous.  She then goes on to say that she will try to get her everything she wants but admits that the Beebs might be difficult as he will likely be busy with his own family.  She seems not to see anything wrong with her daughter’s letter, but does add that “… you  don’t want to get on the wrong side of her.”

When asked by a reporter about the letter, Keedy replied, “I want all these things and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get them.”

Now you see why I’d prefer the zombies.  They might try to eat Santa because that’s what zombies do, but at least they won’t shank him for a pair of Converse high tops.  Nope for that, you need a regular living, breathing sociopath.  In this case in the form of a thirteen year old girl.  But the truth is, they come in all shapes and sizes.  Keedy just happens to be a textbook example.

If you look up “rampant, amoral consumerism” in an encyclopedia, you should see this kid’s face.  She’s pretty much the poster child for everything that is wrong with our “things over people” approach to life.  That’s right, OUR approach to life.

Most of us are horrified by the idea of capping the jolly one for some cash or a new outfit, even more so by the thought of Blitzen Burgers down at the shelter.  The fact of the matter is, we aren’t that far removed from the self-absorbed little girl who wrote that letter.

We like to think we are, but that is demonstrably not the case.  If we were so much better than her, we wouldn’t be watching our widescreen HD TVs while someone else is watching people walk by where they’re sleeping in an alley.  We wouldn’t be worrying about staying warm in a hockey arena while others try to stay warm by huddling in a doorway.

Keedy isn’t all that special.  She’s just at a more advanced stage of a global malaise.  She may be the poster child, but we all suffer from it to some degree.

Just something to think about.

Cheers, Winston