When I discuss things I feel strongly about I often turn conversations into lectures. Anyone who knows me personally probably just said, “Really? No!” in a very sarcastic manner. It’s okay if they did, because I deserve it. Anyone who has read some of my other posts may have noticed it too. Too often, I speak or write in absolutes. I use “is”, “are” and “am”, instead of “might, “may” or “feel”. I’ve struggled for years to change, but it’s still an issue.

Why am writing about it now? A couple of days ago I wrote a post about Beluga whales, navel gazing and using this blog as a tool for personal growth. Then I went back to the commentary type stuff I enjoy writing. Today I was reminded of the need for some more growth.

My wife and I were out walking our dog and stopped to chat with some neighbors. The topic of Internet piracy came up. I gave my views. They gave their views. That should have been the end of it, but I couldn’t let it go. I broke out a lecture supporting my view. There were a couple of other points where I turned an enjoyable conversation into a lecture. Not many people enjoy being lectured. I know that, but I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

When we got home, Lynn told me what I needed to hear. Gently and with great care not to hurt my feelings, she told me what I had done. She worries that people who don’t know me will judge me by that one conversation. It hurts her to see people turn away without the chance to see the better parts of me.

I realized I’ve been doing the same thing here in this blog. Instead of trying to create a dialogue, I give my lecture on a subject and move on. That isn’t my intent, but in reading through my posts with fresh eyes, that’s certainly the feeling in some of them. I don’t see it when I’m writing, but now that I’m looking for it, I do. Instead of writing the beginning of the conversation I want to have with the reader, I’ve been writing conclusions.

Sometimes, I forget that a conversation has two sides. Sometimes, I sound (or read, as the case may be) like I think I have all the answers, even though I know I don’t. And sometimes, I’m just an obnoxious jackass.

I’m still going to post about the things that interest me. I’m just going to try to watch the absolutes. I want to create space for dialogue, instead of a big empty lecture hall with just the sound of my own opinions. Most of all, I want to stop letting the obnoxious jackass write my posts. If I can do that, maybe I can stop him talking to my neighbors.

If you see anything that looks like it was written by that guy could you let me know?

Cheers. Winston