It’s eleven p.m and I sit before my keyboard bereft of inspiration.  This is not as uncommon as I might prefer.  Tonight I may actually have an excuse.

You see, last night, I didn’t sleep.  Not at all.  Lately that’s been happening a fair bit.  I lie in bed and toss and turn.  I do breathing exercises to relax.  I count sheep.  I count goats.  I count ibexes.  Then morning comes and I get up and get on with my day.  Within a couple of days, I sleep for six or seven hours to catch it up and all is well.

Today, it was a bit more of an issue.  Today I was getting up early because today we had to close our trailer for the season.  Technically, yesterday was the last day, but hey, who’s perfect.  The amount we pay,  I don’t feel we’re abusing them with one extra day.

Long story short:  No sleep.  Pack up the trailer.  Pack everything into the car.  Put the dog in the car.  Drive home.  Unpack the car.  Rearrange the kitchen cupboard to accommodate all the food from the trailer.  Shave, shower, go to in-laws for belated Thanksgiving Dinner.

So now I’m a little over-tired.  I’m full as a tick.  Finally, I’m actually sleepy.  So, what to write about?  Oh wait, I know.  I’ll write about not being able to decide what to write about.

Maybe a nap first.

Nah.  Just wing it.  Who’s going to notice?

Good point.

So yeah.  We’ve closed our trailer for the season.  It’s always kind of sad.  No more dodging the stuff that needs doing at home.  No more excuses to sit with my feet up and read or watch movies when I know there’s a ton of things I should be doing.  I’ll miss the chipmunks rushing through the autumn leaves.  Those tiny little things make more noise than my dog.  And I don’t have a small dog.

I’ll miss sitting on my deck dozing through the heat of the day under the awning.  Listening to some soft jazz saxophone and letting my mind drift.  Which is what it’s doing now without the heat or the jazz.

I’ve learned that everything is a question of perspective.  In July I had surgery.  That was painful and scary and unpleasant to say the least.  On the other hand, it gave me two and half months at my trailer while I recovered.  Oh and it led me to start this blog to pass the time.

In September, Blockbuster Canada closed it’s doors and I found myself without a job.  That is seriously  not cool and if you want to know more, read some of my earlier posts.  On the other hand, I worked my last shift on the 27th, and got to spend the next week and a half at  my trailer in time for one of the nicest Thanksgiving weekends on the books.

A lot of things are like that.  Kind of a good news/bad news thing.  Or, the way I usually look at things, it’s more of a bad news/good news thing.  I tend to look at the bad news first.  It used to be that’s pretty much where I’d stop looking.  Now I work to see past the bad thing in my face and look for the good things hiding in it’s shadow.  Makes the world a nicer place, and me a nicer person.

Well, I can’t think of anything else to ramble about at the moment.  Except this.  Because I just had Thanksgiving Dinner, I’d like to take a moment to be really thankful for a few things.  I’m thankful for my blood family.  They have always been there for me and have given me the space to be who I wanted to be.  I’m thankful for my extended family and friends because they help to define me.  Take a look at a person’s friends and you can tell a lot about them.  I’m fortunate to have some incredible people in my life.  I’m thankful for my personal family.  For Lynn who sees more in me than I ever will and never stops trying to help me to be the person she believes in.  For Cynthia who at eighteen still sometimes asks me to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight.  For Chester who happens to be the best dog in the world and the best friend anyone ever had.

With all the negatives in the world, it’s important for me to remember just how blessed and lucky I really am.  If anyone out there is listening……. I owe you one.

Cheers, Winston.