With no idea what to write tonight, I went and visited TED.com to surf for inspiration. I didn’t come away with the killer idea for my blog. That’s okay. I found lots of things to make me think, and they might lead to tomorrow’s post, or the one after that.

No. Tonight I want to write about something else. I want to write about interpretive reality. Which is to say, the way our brains process new information based on our existing experiences. I know it sounds fancy, but really it’s quite simple. What you see, isn’t always what I get.

Three people see a man dressed in brightly colored, flamboyant clothing. One might assume he’s homosexual and be disgusted, another might compliment him on his sense of style, while the third might be indifferent. All experienced the same thing, but react differently based on their past experiences. That is the core of interpretive reality.

I believe that our cultural passion for conformity stems from a subconscious realization that we are truly alone. Our instinct to reach out and seek acceptance is an outward manifestation of that understanding. The idea of the “soul mate” defines this urge. We seek that one person who gets us. The one who can totally understand us because they share our reality.

No matter how similar someone’s reaction may be to the same stimulus, it will never be identical to yours. But that’s what we’ve been taught to expect. That expectation is the basis of standing ovations, the wave at a ball game, or the phenomenon of social networking in general and Facebook in particular. It’s the quest for the hive-mind. We value our individuality, but we’d value it more if other people weren’t so different.

When we see that funny picture and post it on Facebook, we’re hoping that other people will find it as funny as we do. On one hand, we want to share this thing we enjoyed with other people. On the other, we want them to like it as much as we do. We are searching for that common binding response.

As I said earlier, we are a society that places an immense value on conformity. Anyone who has ever been made to feel less valued because they are different can vouch for that. We talk about individuality, but if anyone starts to be too individualized, they are made to pay. If we allow cracks in our cultural facade, it is only a matter of time until it crumbles and we have to face the truth.

That truth is simple and for many, it is horrible. We are all alone. No one can truly understand your experience because they will never have your background. What we need to do is to stop mythologizing our sameness. We need to celebrate our true diversity instead of just paying lip service to it. That is how to stop people from being singled out for their differences.

Understand that we are all different. We have all been singled out. It is our nature, and it is immutable. Now to understand that it is not a bad thing. We can still come together into a society because this doesn’t change who we are, only our understanding of it. Instead of striving to be a uniform crowd, we need to accept the idea of a crowd of individuals. When we stop trying to be the same, maybe we can start to celebrate our actual commonalities.

Just something to think about.

Cheers, Winston